Wednesday 15 August 2012
Birth (part 1)
This morning, there was talk over the radio over the matter of the birth-rate, and why people were unwilling to have children. And, of course, what could be done to 'encourage' them to start conceiving.
Fortunately, I arrived at the place where I am employed before the end of that program. I say 'fortunately' because continuing to listen to some of the 'excuses' offered would have raised my blood pressure to dangerous levels, so I should be glad to have missed the ordeal.
Yet, in response to what I had heard, I felt compelled to put this down at once. Note that I am only putting down my own thoughts on the matter, and not trying to force my readers to go one way or another. Family-planning should remain the purview of the family members. For those who would feel offended by encouragements to have children: STOP READING!
Most of the complaints that I heard this morning dealt with the two following aspects of fathering/bearing children: time and money.
Given the situation here, I do not disagree with them. These two aspects of childbirth do deserve a good, hard look:
First, money. Having a child costs money. I have friends who are blessed with three or more children, and I can see that they are concerned with the financial conditions involved in raising the same. So, yes. In cases where one's cash is strapped, having children becomes secondary, compared to keeping one's heart, mind and body together.
But how much money is enough money? How much does one need to start a family? Ask that question of a hundred people, and you'll get a hundred different answers. There is, apart from the initial cost of bearing the child, the additional monetary output required to get her/him ready for adulthood, according to some. And more is needed to prepare the same for society, especially if one wishes one's offspring to ascend the social ladder.
To all these dreams and their dreamers, I would only say that I have never seen my own father's wishes as something that I need to fulfil. And if he can't accept that, it's his bloody problem, not mine. As for my daughter, I do not believe in setting any special goals for her. In fact, she shocks me with her answers each time anyone asks her what she intends to become when she grows up! A good laugh too, if one lets go of the blinders that one has on as a parent.
So, the money issue is something that we should set into perspective: if one can spend $100,000 or more on a vehicle, couldn't that sum be used to have a child instead? There is no such thing as a child budget. The hundred different answers that I mentioned above are all correct in one way or another. If one truly intends to look at the issue, then sit down with your spouse and work out what you can afford, and what you need to have child. And remember to leave out those things that you can do without (such as that new mercedes!). If the former exceeds the latter, then you'll know that you can afford to have a child, don't you? And you'll also know what you'll be 'sacrificing' to become a parent as well, won't you?
Then the decision becomes more obvious: are you willing to give up those material things that you desire to become a father/mother? Or will you hold on to these objects of desire instead, knowing full well that you will leave them behind when you go into the afterlife? Knowing full well, that these objects will not grow, will not give you headaches and heartaches? That they will not leave you crying from despair and from joy, just by watching them?
It remains, after all, your own choice.
Monday 23 July 2012
Feelings of Abandonment
It has been more than a month since my last post. And I lay this fault, without reservation, at the feet of my missus. It has been a very difficult time indeed, during her absence. Looking after one's daughter when one's wife is overseas has proven a time-consuming, nerve-wracking, and patience-draining experience indeed.
One might point out that I should have expected such an arrangement, given the fact that my wife heads overseas for work every so often. True enough. Yet, no one could have warned me that my daughter would choose this same period to display an independent streak, coupled with a mild defiance of the carefully laid plans that her parents had made for her. Needless to say, her performance at school has gone down, and her behaviour at home has been less than exemplary.
Normally, I would simply give her a swift whack to her backside, followed by a sound scolding, to make her mend her ways. However, with the absence of her mother, who usually gives comfort and an explanation of how she had gone wrong, meant that those duties fall to me as well. Without going into details, I can honestly say that this does not work as well.
Well. We'll see what happens when her mother returns at the end of next month.
Sigh.
One might point out that I should have expected such an arrangement, given the fact that my wife heads overseas for work every so often. True enough. Yet, no one could have warned me that my daughter would choose this same period to display an independent streak, coupled with a mild defiance of the carefully laid plans that her parents had made for her. Needless to say, her performance at school has gone down, and her behaviour at home has been less than exemplary.
Normally, I would simply give her a swift whack to her backside, followed by a sound scolding, to make her mend her ways. However, with the absence of her mother, who usually gives comfort and an explanation of how she had gone wrong, meant that those duties fall to me as well. Without going into details, I can honestly say that this does not work as well.
Well. We'll see what happens when her mother returns at the end of next month.
Sigh.
Thursday 31 May 2012
Mournings
Of late, there has been many disappointments.
First, there was the plan to drag the daughter along with me to visit her mother in the Great Southern Land during the former's school break. Unfortunately, her mother's work schedule had her going North this month instead of South. So that plan evaporated swiftly.
Secondly, there was a plan for some of my fellows to travel to the Pearl of the East, to study some of the methods in use by our colleagues there, against their foes, so that we may apply some of their lessons learnt in our own arena. Unfortunately, due to the events that just took place here last week, many of these plans had to be shelved, in order for some of my fellows to deal with the situation. Hence, this plan too, was held in abeyance.
Thirdly, there is a plan for me and some of my colleagues to skip North at the end of our workday today, to learn what can be found in our neighbour's. Hopefully, this last, simpler goal can be fulfilled.
Sigh. It is hard to work with one's fingers crossed.
First, there was the plan to drag the daughter along with me to visit her mother in the Great Southern Land during the former's school break. Unfortunately, her mother's work schedule had her going North this month instead of South. So that plan evaporated swiftly.
Secondly, there was a plan for some of my fellows to travel to the Pearl of the East, to study some of the methods in use by our colleagues there, against their foes, so that we may apply some of their lessons learnt in our own arena. Unfortunately, due to the events that just took place here last week, many of these plans had to be shelved, in order for some of my fellows to deal with the situation. Hence, this plan too, was held in abeyance.
Thirdly, there is a plan for me and some of my colleagues to skip North at the end of our workday today, to learn what can be found in our neighbour's. Hopefully, this last, simpler goal can be fulfilled.
Sigh. It is hard to work with one's fingers crossed.
Monday 21 May 2012
Light Sabres
The daughter's birthday has just passed, and she received several toys from her mother and I. The most significant of these were the Star Wars lightsabers : )
Originally, we had trouble finding anything other than the old Darth Vader one - red and ominous-sounding. But the girl insisted that it was fine, and that any lightsaber, regardless of the colour or how it sounded, would do her nicely. Since it was my wife who was footing the bill (heh heh heh), she went ahead and bought it for our girl. Needless to say, I wasn't all too enamoured with that decision. So I did a little hunting of my own.
After a bit of searching, I found that there was new stock somewhere else. Within the space of a hour, skipping out during a lunch break at my old office at Pulau Brani, I discovered that I could purchase both the Luke and the Anakin ones - green and blue respectively, at another shop close to my office. Honestly, I couldn't decide which of them to purchase at first. So, in the end, I got them both. Then I called the missus to tell her how I intended for the whole thing to turn out....
I went home and hid all three of the lightsabers, and waited for the daughter to hunt down her birthday present when the time came. When she pulled out the Anakin Skywalker one, her eyes went wide and she came running to me, telling me that something was not right. Then she found the Luke Skywalker one and decided that she preferred its green colour. She held on to it tightly, as she went around and searched for the Darth Vader one that she had originally convinced her mother to buy for her. When she found it, she promptly handed it over, telling me that she was keeping the green one.
So I told her that the Vader one will become mine, while the blue Anakin one will become her mother's.
Not that it mattered; she's playing with all three of them every chance she gets : )
Will put up pics of her with the toys soon, I hope.
Originally, we had trouble finding anything other than the old Darth Vader one - red and ominous-sounding. But the girl insisted that it was fine, and that any lightsaber, regardless of the colour or how it sounded, would do her nicely. Since it was my wife who was footing the bill (heh heh heh), she went ahead and bought it for our girl. Needless to say, I wasn't all too enamoured with that decision. So I did a little hunting of my own.
After a bit of searching, I found that there was new stock somewhere else. Within the space of a hour, skipping out during a lunch break at my old office at Pulau Brani, I discovered that I could purchase both the Luke and the Anakin ones - green and blue respectively, at another shop close to my office. Honestly, I couldn't decide which of them to purchase at first. So, in the end, I got them both. Then I called the missus to tell her how I intended for the whole thing to turn out....
I went home and hid all three of the lightsabers, and waited for the daughter to hunt down her birthday present when the time came. When she pulled out the Anakin Skywalker one, her eyes went wide and she came running to me, telling me that something was not right. Then she found the Luke Skywalker one and decided that she preferred its green colour. She held on to it tightly, as she went around and searched for the Darth Vader one that she had originally convinced her mother to buy for her. When she found it, she promptly handed it over, telling me that she was keeping the green one.
So I told her that the Vader one will become mine, while the blue Anakin one will become her mother's.
Not that it mattered; she's playing with all three of them every chance she gets : )
Will put up pics of her with the toys soon, I hope.
Thursday 17 May 2012
Requiem For the Impatient
Finally got my copy of Epica's album - Requiem for the Indifferent. At the same time, managed to grab Xandria's latest. Good stuff, both of them : )
Thursday 3 May 2012
Tides of May
The daughter has been happy this last week, since it has seen the return of her mother to our shores. The wife will be back for a week, it appears, and shall leave once the week is done. Sigh.
Well, best to make the best of the time we have together.
Well, best to make the best of the time we have together.
Wednesday 11 April 2012
Run-down
For the record, I am now seated in my office, typing this while Loreena McKennitt plays in the background, while I munch on raisin-laced biscuits and douse myself with Coke light. All this takes place in the early hours of the day, before the rest of the office drag themselves through the Gates.
The place where I slave away at my given tasks is not luxurious. Indeed, there are some among my colleagues who might regard it with some disdain. Still, knowing that I am only here to fulfill my duties for two years, and one of which has passed, does not inspire me to rage against the tides that washed me here. Still, the lack of support with regards to the technical matters often drives me to seek help back at my old unit. Not a particularly unappealing solution to my doldrums, I assure those who actually bother to read this.
Indeed, the situation, dire though it may appear to the casual reader, has not been as detrimental to my situation as one might suppose it to be. To be honest, the white-liveried commanderies here are more than a little chary of the rest of us, probably due to the fact that we can, if we so choose, to overturn their carefully orchestrated play meant for the sight of the Hierarchs. And so, we are left to languish in our positions, ignorant and ignoring the calls to battle.
Yet, despite the offer of respite that this situation affords me, I find myself hard-pressed to fulfill the demands on my time and my energies. To be more precise, I find myself stressed, torn and conflicted between the interests of the mind and the needs of the young. Truly, if I am forced to do so, I will simply point out that I am suffering from a malady of the mind known to most as the 'single parent' syndrome.
The wife has departed for the Great Southern Land, to earn her next laurels in the great campaign, leaving me and our daughter to wage our war on the tides of our lonely shore. At the same time, there has arisen a situation in her mother's family that requires me to take charge of the daughter for the space of two weeks, while the grandmother deals with the loss suffered by her eldest son. And so, I am left as sole parent, and sole caretaker of my daughter for these two weeks. If my daughter was as endearing as most believe her to be, it should not be so great a chore.
Ha!
Needless to say, my daughter's traits are far less appealing when viewed at proximity. The indulgence lavished upon her by her grandmother(s) has twisted her view of the world somewhat, and this is often opposed to the vision that I see. Which, of course, leads to the expected tumult: our time together is often spent in argument. And our time together has just been greatly expanded!
This shall prove to be a most ... interesting, and exhausting, experience.
Sigh.
The place where I slave away at my given tasks is not luxurious. Indeed, there are some among my colleagues who might regard it with some disdain. Still, knowing that I am only here to fulfill my duties for two years, and one of which has passed, does not inspire me to rage against the tides that washed me here. Still, the lack of support with regards to the technical matters often drives me to seek help back at my old unit. Not a particularly unappealing solution to my doldrums, I assure those who actually bother to read this.
Indeed, the situation, dire though it may appear to the casual reader, has not been as detrimental to my situation as one might suppose it to be. To be honest, the white-liveried commanderies here are more than a little chary of the rest of us, probably due to the fact that we can, if we so choose, to overturn their carefully orchestrated play meant for the sight of the Hierarchs. And so, we are left to languish in our positions, ignorant and ignoring the calls to battle.
Yet, despite the offer of respite that this situation affords me, I find myself hard-pressed to fulfill the demands on my time and my energies. To be more precise, I find myself stressed, torn and conflicted between the interests of the mind and the needs of the young. Truly, if I am forced to do so, I will simply point out that I am suffering from a malady of the mind known to most as the 'single parent' syndrome.
The wife has departed for the Great Southern Land, to earn her next laurels in the great campaign, leaving me and our daughter to wage our war on the tides of our lonely shore. At the same time, there has arisen a situation in her mother's family that requires me to take charge of the daughter for the space of two weeks, while the grandmother deals with the loss suffered by her eldest son. And so, I am left as sole parent, and sole caretaker of my daughter for these two weeks. If my daughter was as endearing as most believe her to be, it should not be so great a chore.
Ha!
Needless to say, my daughter's traits are far less appealing when viewed at proximity. The indulgence lavished upon her by her grandmother(s) has twisted her view of the world somewhat, and this is often opposed to the vision that I see. Which, of course, leads to the expected tumult: our time together is often spent in argument. And our time together has just been greatly expanded!
This shall prove to be a most ... interesting, and exhausting, experience.
Sigh.
Monday 26 March 2012
Wednesday 21 March 2012
Latest acquisitions
On a lighter note....
Just bought Olivia Ong's Sweet Memories and Corrinne May's Crooked Lines albums.
A different cover, but same album. Maybe a later press. Light music - mostly old favourites from my school days.
New songs. Devout. Mostly joyous and celebratory, though some of the lyrics makes one think. I believe that was her intention in the first place.
Hope I can get hold of Epica's new album next : )
Grrrr..
Things have gone south.
Apparently, my daughter has not taken my words to heart. Despite talking to her about her sleeping habits and her utter lack of urgency when getting ready for school. She has, for the umpteenth time, dragged her heels this morning so much that she was late.
Which leaves me no recourse but to issue threats and promise harsh and immediate punishment should she fail to comply with my simple instructions of:
1) Getting up when she (a) hears the alarm, (b) gets shaken awake, or (c) gets hauled onto her feet;
2) Eating her breakfast and stuffing her snack-box and water-bottle into her bag in a no fuss, timely fashion (which I have set at a generous 20 minutes); and
3) Getting dressed and leaving the house by 6.45am.
My promised punishments for 1) is a swift whack to the backside, and additional whacks if she proves recalcitrant. For 2), it is setting her alarm (and bedtime) early an additional 5 minutes, thereby leading to a greater potential for violations of 1) and its consequent penalty. Failure to comply to 3) leads to her being late for school, which carries its own attendant punishment from her teachers. Hence, there is no stipulated penalty from me. (Despite my propensity towards physical punishment, I am inclined to the rule of natural justice that precludes being punished more than once for the same offence.)
This will begin with immediate effect.
We'll see how it goes.
Apparently, my daughter has not taken my words to heart. Despite talking to her about her sleeping habits and her utter lack of urgency when getting ready for school. She has, for the umpteenth time, dragged her heels this morning so much that she was late.
Which leaves me no recourse but to issue threats and promise harsh and immediate punishment should she fail to comply with my simple instructions of:
1) Getting up when she (a) hears the alarm, (b) gets shaken awake, or (c) gets hauled onto her feet;
2) Eating her breakfast and stuffing her snack-box and water-bottle into her bag in a no fuss, timely fashion (which I have set at a generous 20 minutes); and
3) Getting dressed and leaving the house by 6.45am.
My promised punishments for 1) is a swift whack to the backside, and additional whacks if she proves recalcitrant. For 2), it is setting her alarm (and bedtime) early an additional 5 minutes, thereby leading to a greater potential for violations of 1) and its consequent penalty. Failure to comply to 3) leads to her being late for school, which carries its own attendant punishment from her teachers. Hence, there is no stipulated penalty from me. (Despite my propensity towards physical punishment, I am inclined to the rule of natural justice that precludes being punished more than once for the same offence.)
This will begin with immediate effect.
We'll see how it goes.
Wednesday 14 March 2012
Inspirations II
Delivered!
And threw in a movie too. She loved the monstrous aliens in John Carter.
: )
And threw in a movie too. She loved the monstrous aliens in John Carter.
: )
Thursday 8 March 2012
Inspirations
The daughter finds it hard to get up early in the morning, and drags her feet when preparing herself for school. Not a surprise. She is only following in the footsteps of both her parents. Usually, the missus and I have to poke and prod and crack the whip over her head to get her moving. This morning, however, I tried a different tack.
"You're not going to school tomorrow, are you? And the school hols start next week, right? Aren't you eager to have this day over with?"
For some strange reason, those questions worked! She was actually able to get her stuff together faster than I did. As I had pointed out before, children can surprise adults when they are suitably inspired. The last time that she did that, we climbed all the way up the side of Cradle Mountain for a good two and a half hours to reach Crater Lake. And then trudged all the way back down again. While this morning was not on the same scale, it was a good surprise.
Moreso because the missus is not around.
As usual, work has called the wife to exotic, faraway lands. In this case, the Great Southern one. And she'll be away for another two weeks. Which means that she'll be missing the school hols altogether.
Which puts the pressure on me.
Well, I've never been the sort of parent who drives his daughter to achieve goals, or to fill her life with all sorts of activities. Besides, I am well-aware of my own preferences, and would rather not drag her through what she would consider a 'boring' visit to a museum or such. Taking the most direct approach, I simply asked her what she would like to do next week.
Swimming, was her reply. And the Botanic Gardens.
That was easily done, and I promised her that we'll do them both. Hopefully, I can deliver : )
"You're not going to school tomorrow, are you? And the school hols start next week, right? Aren't you eager to have this day over with?"
For some strange reason, those questions worked! She was actually able to get her stuff together faster than I did. As I had pointed out before, children can surprise adults when they are suitably inspired. The last time that she did that, we climbed all the way up the side of Cradle Mountain for a good two and a half hours to reach Crater Lake. And then trudged all the way back down again. While this morning was not on the same scale, it was a good surprise.
Moreso because the missus is not around.
As usual, work has called the wife to exotic, faraway lands. In this case, the Great Southern one. And she'll be away for another two weeks. Which means that she'll be missing the school hols altogether.
Which puts the pressure on me.
Well, I've never been the sort of parent who drives his daughter to achieve goals, or to fill her life with all sorts of activities. Besides, I am well-aware of my own preferences, and would rather not drag her through what she would consider a 'boring' visit to a museum or such. Taking the most direct approach, I simply asked her what she would like to do next week.
Swimming, was her reply. And the Botanic Gardens.
That was easily done, and I promised her that we'll do them both. Hopefully, I can deliver : )
Wednesday 15 February 2012
Wednesday 25 January 2012
Dragon's Year
It was not a happy Chinese New Year for me.
There, I've put it down, right there up front so that everyone who reads this knows that this is not going to be one of glad tidings and contented musings.
The cause of my unhappiness was of course, my daughter. Not that she was behaving badly, or making a bloody nuisance of herself. Those days come with greater frequency nowadays, as she grows old enough to knows what she wants. And that usually conflicts with what the missus and I want. Sigh.
No, she caused this madness because she had the bad timing to fall ill just prior to the ending of the year. I've only just learned that it was bacterial infection, that caused her to run a fever, flucuating between mild and moderately high, over the last five days. And for some reason, it usually peaked at night, which meant loss of sleep-time for me and the missus. Especially for the missus, who worries and worries, until she drops.
As for me, there went all of my visiting plans out of the window. Along with all the plans to bring her around Chinatown and other visually appealing sights over the celebratory period. On top of that, I had cooking duties, to boil soup and porridge (well, congee, to be precise), for her. Who, naturally, disliked the bland stuff, and wanted fried bacon and luncheon meat instead. Double sigh.
And now the wife is feeling under the weather as well.
No, it does not look like a happy Chinese New Year at all.
There, I've put it down, right there up front so that everyone who reads this knows that this is not going to be one of glad tidings and contented musings.
The cause of my unhappiness was of course, my daughter. Not that she was behaving badly, or making a bloody nuisance of herself. Those days come with greater frequency nowadays, as she grows old enough to knows what she wants. And that usually conflicts with what the missus and I want. Sigh.
No, she caused this madness because she had the bad timing to fall ill just prior to the ending of the year. I've only just learned that it was bacterial infection, that caused her to run a fever, flucuating between mild and moderately high, over the last five days. And for some reason, it usually peaked at night, which meant loss of sleep-time for me and the missus. Especially for the missus, who worries and worries, until she drops.
As for me, there went all of my visiting plans out of the window. Along with all the plans to bring her around Chinatown and other visually appealing sights over the celebratory period. On top of that, I had cooking duties, to boil soup and porridge (well, congee, to be precise), for her. Who, naturally, disliked the bland stuff, and wanted fried bacon and luncheon meat instead. Double sigh.
And now the wife is feeling under the weather as well.
No, it does not look like a happy Chinese New Year at all.
Thursday 5 January 2012
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